Things I have learned or realised while in Australia.

1- Bondi beach is actually a really cool place and no amount of drunk 18-year-olds can take that away (it helps if you have a chocolate ice-cream with Fiona).

Bondi beach is actually a very cool place.

Bondi beach, Sydney.

2- You should always wear your bathers underneath, just in case.

Yay! No crocodiles! Or strong currents! Or box jellyfish!

Yay! No crocodiles! Or strong currents! Or box jellyfish!

3- Australians (at least the ones who are in charge of making signs) care not an ounce about the placement of apostrophes and other grammatical details. It’s time I left because it’s starting to drive me crazy.

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If you’re going to rip off a grammar book’s title, then at least try to make it make grammatical sense. Unless this sign is a satire?

4- Sometimes the most wonderous installation art is not human-made.

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Untitled #1. Mixed media (boulder, desert, burnt trees)

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Untitled #2. Mixed media (boulder, desert, burnt trees)

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Untitled #3. Mixed media (boulder, desert, burnt trees)

5- Australia’s distances are ridiculous.

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I don’t know what to say about this.

6- There are a lot of big things here, but my heart has been left with this tiny two-toned horse, Redman (6-month-old red kangaroo with a broken tail), and Albert, a little wallaby (his name may not be Albert, but he perked up when we suggested this name).

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My lovely horse running through the field.

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I would like a 6-month-old kangaroo (ideally Redman) to take home with me. One that never grows up, please and thank you.

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Albert, you’re so cool the way you eat grass and are so small.

7- Turns out I am able to herd a massive steed through a gate all by myself. (Photo not available, obviously.)

8- The best theatre is often hidden in a small venue, far from the expensive festival lights. I’m talkin’ ’bout you, Rust & Bones!

9- You will be asked your age at least every other day and you are expected to be squarely between 19 and 26. You will be greeted with “you don’t look that old” and “why are you travelling now?” when they find out you are not 26 anymore. It may make you self-conscious.

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Why? Don’t I seem mature?

10- You will become the type of person that takes pictures of birds. Lots and lots of pictures of birds.

Galahs in a tree.

Galahs in a tree.

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